NARM - Neuroaffective Relational Model.
Psychotherapy for childhood and relational trauma in the Ottawa area and across Ontario
The essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. So the real question is:
“How did we get separated and, how do we reconnect?”
- Gabor Mate
The NeuroAffective Relational Model™ (NARM®) addresses Complex Trauma (“C-PTSD”), including attachment, relational and developmental trauma, by working with adaptive patterns that reflect unconscious patterns of disconnection that impact our identity, emotions, physiology, behavior and relationships. NARM® integrates a body-centered and psychodynamic approach, within a context of interpersonal neurobiology, grounded in mindfulness and a phenomenological approach to addressing identity and consciousness of Self. NARM® offers a comprehensive theoretical and clinical model for the resolution of Adverse Childhood Experiences (“ACEs”) and C-PTSD. NARM® offers a framework for post-traumatic growth by supporting increased resiliency, greater health outcomes, healthier relationships, personal growth and social change.
To learn more, click here: What is NARM?
rediscovering self: guiding you through childhood trauma healing
You are ready for authentic living- your true Self awaits.
How NARM works
Heal from the past, live in the present.
Adverse childhood experiences (“ACEs”), especially when chronic in nature, can have a lasting impact on us and effect how we, as adults, show up in the world. When as children, we had to survive a less than favourable environment, we learnt various adaptive strategies to disconnect from ourselves. Be it disconnection from our bodies, our needs, our emotions or our autonomy, our sense of self has been diminished. In essence, in the process of being rejected by our primary caregivers, we learnt to reject ourselves.
NARM postulates that these once adaptive forms of disconnection, more so than the experience of trauma itself, is what contributes to certain struggles we currently face in adulthood. These struggles can show up in many forms, such as (but not limited to) challenges connecting to our sense of self, our bodies, emotions and needs; difficulties setting boundaries; struggles connecting to and trusting others; or experiencing a need to perform or achieve in order to feel worthy or loved.
In a typical NARM session, we begin by exploring and identifying your intentions - clarifying the therapeutic contract. As the session progresses, we will explore how past adaptive survival strategies influence your present-day functioning. During this time, we will become curious and create space to explore your inner experience by paying attention to your bodily felt sense, thoughts, emotions, and ways of relating to yourself and others. This process allows you to cultivate self-awareness. This is when you may gain a greater ability to relate to yourself and the world in a way that is more authentic and aligned with what you most want for yourself. From this new way of relating, you can increase your capacity to reconnect to yourself and others, reorganize your sense of Self, and no longer be defined by what happened to you in your past.
The Neuroaffective Relational Model can help you…
Connect with your own needs and emotions
Make choices that support your authentic self
Feel more fulfillment, expansion and aliveness
Create and nurture healthy, interdependent and satisfying relationships
Increase self-esteem and resilience
Integrate rage and anger
Gain personal agency in your life
Frequently asked questions about narm therapy
FAQs
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Most view trauma as “big ticket items” such as physical or sexual abuse, or an intensely stressful or horrific event. This is a somewhat narrow understanding of what trauma is all about.
Did you know that trauma is a Greek word for wound?
Gabor Mate more accurately defines trauma as “…not what happens to you…it is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you”.
That is not to say that what happened to you isn’t significant - it is! However, the greatest impact what happened to you has is how it shapes how you relate. It can have an effect on how you relate to yourself, deeply impact your capacity to trust others, and profoundly effect how you view the world.
By simply viewing trauma as the thing that happened, and primarily focus on processing the event(s), essential aspects of healing are missed.
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Unresolved trauma from early experiences can have lasting effects on your emotional and mental well-being. Childhood trauma can shape your beliefs, behaviours, and relationships in adulthood. Therapy provides a supportive environment to explore and process your past experiences and help you better understand how they may be influencing your current way of being. Addressing childhood trauma in therapy can assist you in building healthier relationships and a more positive sense of self. . Learn more.
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Curiosity is a key ingredient in healthy relationships - with both yourself and others.
If in childhood, you have been met with disinterest or rejection, you learnt that curiosity toward yourself, your inner experiences, emotions and needs was pointless. Instead, to survive, it was easier to focus on ways of being in order to reduce the potential for harm and get your needs met. This worked for a time, but now in adulthood, you may find yourself struggling to know who you are, what you need, and more importantly how to have a deep connection with yourself and others.
The good news is, things can change! When you notice what is present to your inner experience non-judgmentally and with genuine curiosity, you can learn how to attune to and witness yourselves. This is when you can begin to allow yourself to be seen and grow accustom to taking up space with both yourself and others. Learn more.